A journey through the fog... through RAW PAIN... seeking beauty and alignment.

God spoke to me today through purple glitter of all things.

It is a historic day in our house. My daughter J (who will be 10 next month) got her braces put on this morning. Now we are 2/2 in the tinsel department as my oldest daughter B (12 1/2) got her's put on early last month. (maybe I should add a donation link to this blog! LOL)

It is pea-soup-foggy outside this morning. I have lived in this area for for 23 years now and 'just know' pretty much where I am most of the time. That still didn't stop me from missing a major crossroad because I had lost my focus. I was jamming out to Rascall Flatts on my radio trying to wake up after a night where I just couldn't find my sleep and only got about 3 hours if that. I had to do a U-turn to get turned around and back on the right path.

That pretty much personifies much of my life. So many times I have lost my focus in the fog, missed a major crossroad and had to make a U-turn to get back to going in the proper direction. I have a GPS on my Blackberry and a Magellan navigator to help me if I don't 'just know' where I am in my car, and I have a Savior to navigate me in my life but if I lose my focus on him then finding my way back to the right path is just not so easy, if it's even possible.

I love being a mother. It is hilarious and challenging watching my daughters grow up. They make it impossible to hide your truth. They are mirrors right back at you. I am trying and constantly failing to be the woman I want them to grow up to be. I reset my focus and try again. But for the Grace of God go I.

B being the 'expert' brace face now was full of warnings and wisdom for J on the way. It was amusing listening to them. J is such a good sport, both of them are . It brought me back watching them put those barbaric instruments and contraptions in her mouth, stretching it and distorting it in unnatural and uncomfortable ways - I couldn't help but conceal a sympathetic smirk watching her laying there. I remember that feeling... undignified, apprehensive, a little excited, but with her head lower than her body while large blue gloved hands poked and prodded, glued and tied, screwed and scraped while offering her encouragement.

B had her 'tightening' appointment at the same time. A lot has changed since my 2 rodeos with braces. I had them the first time as a teenager and a second time in my early 20's... I had gotten out of alignment and my jaw locked up (still wondering why my husband paid to have THAT fixed... I bet he has regretted that more than once!). They didn't have all the cool things they do now... the colored bands to choose from now are endless, and not just colored but sparkly and even glow in the dark! They get to have a costume party in their mouth every month while in this bondage!

So... J chose the purple sparkly bands and proudly showed off her new tooth art... B got alternating blue and purple. Both of them look a little like they ate a pinata but I am so glad they are having some fun with this!

While checking out the receptionist reminded me and suggested I splurge for the Sonicare ... it's a special deal and can be worked into the payment plan.

Pausing to interjecting a MOM BRAG on my girls here, while I still can...though it has nothing to do with me. So far both B and J have not had ANY cavities ever. That is especially remarkable for J because she was born with hypo-blastic baby teeth which means they had no enamel. Thankfully her permanent adult teeth are fine. So I caved and bought them the limousine of plaque blasters... the go for the gusto to do whatever possible to preserve their white teeth from the ugly stain of decay.

That reminded me of how many times I need a the limousine of plaque blasters from the stain of sin in my life. Praise Jesus for his Sonicare ways!!!

J is giddy and excited right now at this milestone in her life, the pain hasn't set in yet, but anyone who has been through orthodontic care knows that it will!!! Many milestones in life are like that... joy and pain but worth it. She asked me how bad is it going to hurt? I looked at her and said.. "Oh Girlfriend... I am sorry, it's gonna hurt pretty bad sometimes, but you will get through it and it will be worth it." In the meantime, she can decorate it to distract and mask what is really going on. The tugging, pushing and pulling against what is naturally hers. In the end, she will have beautiful and aligned teeth.

I feel like I am going through that again and again. In order to have beauty and alignment in my life I am going through a lot of raw pain and tugging, pushing, and pulling as I try to become a Godly woman, wife, mother, friend. The decay of my sin is always looming wanting to take over. I can smile and dress nice and 'decorate' all I want to mask what is REALLY going on, but that doesn't change the struggle with my human nature and the confusion of the journey sometimes. Thankfully I have that Sonicare - my Navigator through the fog if only I focus and seek Him he will guide me.

Praise be to God I am already beautiful and aligned in his eyes, through Jesus Christ.